I never earned the right to exist.
I was not born with it.
I’m still standing on shaky legs,
like toddlers do.
Everything around me seems so big
and I cannot reach it,
beyond my reach!
I can see my empty hand in front of my face
trying to grab the empty air.
It gets hold of nothing – nothing at all –
and slowly returns to its usual place:
my left hand holding my own trousers.
But it gives me some reassurance.
There is a body.
There are some legs.
Legs that will move forever
to try and fill that empty air
……so that maybe one day
my hand will get hold of something – something –
like a firefly in the dark –
that will give meaning to an existence
I yet have to earn.